Missing Peices
by Whispatchet
Summary: He hated that Nicky had said those things about him to the neighbours. He hated that he hadn't been better at hiding it from everyone. But in the end.... Rod couldn't hide it. And it hurt so much.... he was ready to let it destroy him. Rated for Language.
1. Running Blind

He wasn't really overly surprised as he watched his friends take off. Even he knew that the stuff he had just gotten though saying just wasn't something that is said, even by straight men. He had dug a pretty big hole for himself, now that he thought about it, but so desperate was he to convince everyone he wasn't a homosexual he didn't really care.

He just stood there, looking hurt, while everyone except Nicky vacated the area with haste.

"Look, Rod, all I meant was, I'd still be your friend even if you _were_ gay!" Nicky said, trying to repair the situation.

"Nicky...." He turned away. "I want you out of the apartment by the time I get home."

Even though he wasn't looking at him, he could almost feel Nicky's face fall. "You......you're kicking me out....?"

The taller of the two turned back to face him. His hands were balled into fists by his sides, and his face read as hurt and angry, even with the tears rimming his blue eyes. "Go and live in a garbage can for all I care!" He shouted, before turning and running -actually running at a full sprint- away from Nicky.

If the other man had something to say, if he was shouting after him, he didn't hear it. It hurt.

He didn't stop running until he stopped crying to himself. And by then, he was a long way away from Avenue Q. In fact he didn't know where he was. Gently picking his glasses of his nose and rubbing at his face to erase the streaks of tears from his cheeks, he took a deep breath, and looked around.

He had thought he knew New York pretty well, but... he wandered for a little bit, looking for a street sign or something to help him work out where he was. He found one, but..... it was covered in graffiti, so he couldn't read it. ....Not a good sign....

Starting to feel just a might terrified, he headed for the road and walked down it, maybe hoping to find a train station. If he found a station, it didn't matter where he was, he'd be able to get home alright.

"Hey!" Someone shouted, making him freeze. He turned, and there was this group of college age kids heading over to him. "What're you doing, huh?" One of them asked.

"Looking for a train station or a subway station." Was his concise answer. "I went the wrong way and I'm not sure where I am exactly."

One of the kids rambled off something about turf and gangs and he didn't really catch most of it. One phrase he did catch though was the term 'Back District.'

Great. He was in one of THOSE places. The kind that didn't usually appear on a street map because they were just one of those areas you didn't want people going to. The kind of places that Pizza wouldn't deliver to. Greaaaaat.

"You MUST be lost." They started to advance on him. "Hey, got any money on you?"

He stumbled backwards. Oh crap... now what was he supposed to do!?

Before he knew it, he had fallen back onto the pavement, his glasses clattering to the concrete, making a cracking sound that made him wince. Or, maybe he was wincing because one of the kids had just planted their fist into his cheek. One of them knelt down beside him and started reaching for his pockets.  
If they took his money he would never be able to get home! He really only had enough for a subway ticket anyway, so, if they took it he was screwed! He gave the kid a shove, making him fall off balance and fall onto his backside. Ah, taking advantage of a precarious pose. "You can't have my money! I need it!" He shouted, grabbing his glasses off the pavement beside him and scrambling to his feet, trying to make a break for it.

He didn't get very far though, as one of the kids grabbed the back of his suit jacket and wrenched him backwards. "Not so fast, Mr fancy suit!" One of them growled.

"OI!!" A voice shouted from somewhere above, and the kids looked up. There was a woman leaning out of a top floor window, glaring down at them. "Knock that off you stupid punks, before I call the police!!"  
Surprisingly, they kids actually listened, and bolted.

Panting, he stood, pointing his face towards the woman in the window. "Th-thankyou..." He said to her.  
"What the fuck are you doing in this district?" She asked him.  
"I.......took a wrong turn. Would you.... be able to tell me how to get to a subway station?"  
She pointed. "That way, at the end of the block." She told him.  
"Thank you!" And he headed off.

The woman snorted and snapped her window closed. "Dumbass."

He didn't exactly run to the station, but he was walking at a hurried pace the entire way. He wasn't surprised to see that the station was just as horrible looking as the rest of the district. But, it was a station. It meant he could get home. And, it may not have been glamorous, but Avenue Q was at least safe. Safe....

He bought his ticket and jumped on the train, taking a seat near the window. He sighed deeply. He should have known better to just run off without thinking about where he was going. Running wasn't exactly his style anyway, what had he being doi-

Oh. Right.

He groaned, and propped his head up in one hand, resting his elbow on the armrest. He gazed down at his glasses, turning them over again and again in his other hand. The right lens was cracked. Not surprising, as they had connected with the concrete from his head height, which wasn't anything to be sneezed at, being six foot three.

Sighing, he unfolded his glasses and placed them on the bridge of his nose. The crack made everything to the right distorted and fractured, but he hardly noticed. He gazed idly out the window, catching sight of himself in the slightly shiny glass. His cheek was darkening rapidly in a heavy bruise where that kid had hit him.

He hoped at least the newlyweds were having a good evening.


	2. Fading Away

He must have looked a wreck when he finally got back to the Avenue. His hair was ruffled, his suit jacket was torn at the back where he had been grabbed, a crack in his glasses, bruise on his left cheek and a dull, listless expression on his face.

So shocking it was, that even Kate Monster, who was in the middle of some depressed lecture at herself on her doorstep, stopped and looked at him in surprise.

"Rod?" She said, standing. "Rod? Are you okay?"

His eyes flicked to her for only a moment, before he wearily climbed the stairs to his apartment, and slammed the door behind him.

He vaguely heard her calling his name again through the closed door, but he ignored it, in favour of heading right to the bedroom, pulling off his torn jacket, dirtied shirt, shoes, and his belt, placing his cracked glasses on the side table, then flopping onto his bed, falling asleep within seconds.

---

He woke with a pounding headache.

Slowly, he sat up, groaning and putting a hand to the side of his head. "Nicky....what time is it...?" He asked tiredly. When he was met with silence, he looked up. "Nicky?"

The bed across from him was empty.

Not only was it empty, it looked like the person who usually slept in it had actually made a half hearted attempt at making it. His face fell. That's right........ he had..... kicked Nicky out... hadn't he.

It had only been one night.... he had only woken up with him gone once..... and already he missed him.

Groaning again, he lay back down on the pillow. He felt sore, and sick...

...and alone.

---

It had been days since anyone had seen the banker. No one was really overly worried; he left early in the morning to go to work, and usually, when he came home, he was too tired to do much else than argue with Nicky for an hour or two before passing out for the night. Most people thought that he would actually be more pleasant with Nicky not there anymore for him to have to argue with.

But it wasn't until the third week that people really started to notice he wasn't around.

They had noticed with Princeton, being he was new to the Avenue, and they knew how to make him feel better, at least a little. The republican was another matter all together, as usually, all he wanted was to be left alone.

The gang all stood on the street together. They had just raised money for Kate, and bought her a building nearby for her to turn into a School for Monsters, which she had been dreaming about since she was small. And it was only when they were all standing there, even Nicky, who had been homeless and living in the vague shelter behind a dumpster for the last week and a half that they noticed a certain person missing.

"Hey, where IS Rod anyway?" Brian wondered, looking around, before turning his eyes on the centre building. "Get him out here!"

Christmas Eve headed up to the door, and knocked on it. "Rod?" She called.

But she was met with silence.

"Rod!"

Nicky frowned worriedly. "Gee... I hope he's okay....."  
Princeton looked at him. "Yeah.... I haven't seen him since the wedding."

Kate looked over at the two. She probably should have told someone what she saw that evening after the wedding, but she had been so distracted by her own problems that she had forgotten all about it.

She turned to Brian. "Brian.... bust down the door!"  
"What?"  
"I.... I think something's wrong with Rod." She told them. "I..... I saw him when he came home.... I'd... never seen him like that before. Almost like someone had been beating on him..."

Nicky stared at her. "Why didn't you say anything sooner!?" He exclaimed. "Rod!!" He ran up and banged on the door. "ROD!"

"Step aside, step aside!" Gary said, shoving the 25 year old to one side. "Super's got the keys to the place, remember?"  
"Oh yeh..."

The former child star slipped the key into the lock and turned it, gently opening the door, and they gang looked in.

The whole place was dark. The apartment certainly didn't look like the investment banker had been living there alone. It looked more like Nicky had been living there alone. Well, perhaps not alone. Perhaps if he had been living there with a bear and a few ferrets. Everything was everywhere and nothing was in its proper place. Highly unlike him.

Wrought with worry, Nicky made to enter the apartment, but Christmas Eve stopped him. "You wait." She told him. "He might not want see you. I go find Rod."

Carefully and slowly, the Japanese woman picked her way through the dark apartment. The lay out was exactly like in hers and Brian's apartment, so, she knew exactly where everything was. The kitchen, at the far end of the apartment, was just as dark, and in a similar state to the rest of the place. All the food was mouldy and stank horribly.

She crinkled her nose. Now, she knew Rod, and she knew Nicky. She had Nicky living in her apartment for a few days, so she KNEW what his housekeeping skills were like. But even Nicky wouldn't let the place get into this state.

She headed from the kitchen into the bathroom. It too, was messy, but, around the vanity, the shower and the toilet, it looked like Rod had made an attempt at cleaning it at some point in the last three weeks, the build up being slightly less than everywhere else. Or possibly he had used them. There were marks on the floor that suggested he had been in here, so, at least he hadn't abandoned the place.

The only other place he could be was the bedroom, so, she headed there next. Slowly, she pushed the door open, and looked inside.  
"Rod?"

The tall man was laying in a foetal positing on one of the beds. Shirtless, and all the covers had been kicked off, and were lying in a crumpled pile on the floor.  
Christmas Eve crept closer to him, and looked down at his face. He wasn't sleeping; he was staring dully at the other bed, blinking slowly. He looked thin.... thinner than he used to be.... thinner than he should be.

"Rod?" She said again, sitting down on the edge of the mattress. "You okay?"

His eyes flicked to her. "Christmas Eve...."  
"Rod, we all worried about you.... You no look well..."  
"I don't feel that great." He admitted.  
"Have you been eating?"

"...Maybe?"

"Rod..." She placed a hand on his shoulder. "You not doing this because Nicky said you gay, right?"  
The woman cursed herself silently as she felt him jerk when she said that.  
"When you ask me about being gay for friend before, you asking for you, weren't you."

"Christmas Eve...." He sat up slowly, and looked at her. "It's not that..... I.... I know what I am. I can't help it. But.... it's.... not like...."

"You want talk with me about it?"

"Not really."

"What about with Nicky?"

He turned his blue eyes on her. "Nicky....... won't want to hear what I have to say."  
"You feeling for Nicky, Rod?"

He stared at her. Was he really that easy to read...?

"You know, it okay to feeling for him. Ruv is good thing!"  
"But..... he'll never return my feelings.... he's so loudly straight...."  
"Rod..... would you ruv Nicky if he were woman?"

"I.... I don't know.... I guess...."  
"Then maybe you not gay?"  
He looked at her quizzically. "I don't understand."  
"You no like men or women." She explained to him. "You just like _him_."

He directed his eyes towards the floor.

"You're all thin...."

Those blue eyes suddenly snapped to the bedroom door. "N-Nicky!!"  
But Nicky just walked over and sat beside the taller creature. "Rod..... you've lost so much weight...." The other man hitched his breath. "What have you done to yourself, Rod? Haven't you been eating?"

"Not hungry..." Was the distracted reply.

"Rod...... the apartment's a mess... I know I'm not the cleanest guy in the world, but...."  
"Didn't feel.... like cleaning it."

"Rod?"

"Yes?"

"I heard what you said."

He froze.

"Why didn't you say anything?"  
His mouth opened and closed uselessly.  
"Why have you... done this to yourself?" Nicky brought a hand up and touched the yellowing bruise on the other man's cheek. He noticed, but ignored the goose bumps that cropped up all over the other's pale skin at the touch.

"I...... I don't know...."  
"...... I missed you, Rod."

He smiled at him. Nicky smiled back.

But suddenly, he was hit with a wave of nausea, and, winced. Nicky placed a worried hand on his arm. "Rod?"  
"I.....I..." Those blue eyes glazed over, and, he flopped over into Nicky's lap with a groan. Nicky gasped, feeling his friend's skin to be ice cold.

Christmas Eve stood and bolted to the door. "BRIAN! CALL AMBULANCE NOW!"


	3. Have to Admit

Brian had lived on Avenue Q for nearly eight years now. And he had to admit, they'd never in that entire time had an ambulance there before. This was an impressive record for an outer suburb like theirs.

The whole gang stepped back as the paramedics brought the centre building resident out on a stretcher, with Nicky jogging beside him.

"Is he okay?" Princeton asked, as they passed them.

"I dunno...." Nicky responded, stopping beside the ambulance as his roommate was lifted into it. "I can come with him, can't I?"  
The ambulance driver nodded, and Nicky climbed in, taking a seat beside his friend. He reached over and took his hand. "It'll be okay, Rod.... it'll be okay...."

The others watched as the ambulance closed and took off for the hospital, before turning to Christmas Eve, who had just walked out of the apartment.  
"What's going on?" Kate asked. "Rod's not.... hurt or anything is he?"  
"He no eat for while, from what look like." The older woman responded. "He weak, and pass out."

"....Oh."

Brian took his wife into a hug. "You okay honey?"  
"Yeah... I okay, Brian." She leant into him. "I more worry for Rod."

---

He felt like a plastic sandwich bag, being buffeted around by an autumn breeze, only to land in a fountain, and get sucked into the pump and get stuck and block the system and make the pump explode. Yeah, that was it. Exploding fountain pump. That was exactly it.

Nicky hated hospitals.

He stayed at the hospital with his roommate the whole day. He was horrified at the things the doctors were telling him, and doing to his poor, weak friend. The ward nurses poked and prodded at him all the time, taking his temperature, checking his heart rate and taking blood samples and all sorts of other things that made Nicky decide he was taking him home as soon as he was physically able. Fuck this place. It wasn't health care; it was some strange kind of Chinese torture!

But, at the end of the day, their efforts did bring the tall man back to consciousness.

"Where....?" He mumbled.  
"Rod! You're awake!!" Nicky exclaimed, looking down at him happily.

"Nicky..."  
Nicky smiled at him. "It's okay, Rod, really."  
"I'm sorry I kicked you out. I.... I missed you so much.... That...... that's why I trashed the apartment...."

Nicky laughed. The weaker creature blushed a little, revelling in that sound.... that wonderful, beautiful sound.

"You trashed it so it looked more like I was there?"  
"Yeah, kinda."

"Oh Rod..... I'm sorry I said those things.... I..... You're my best friend...."  
"Nicky...... I'm sorry I kicked you out.... I missed you so much...... when I get out of here..... will you.... move back in with me?"

"Oh! If it'll make you happy, Rod!"  
"It will..."  
Nicky sniffed, and leant across to hug him. "Rod.... I was so scared..... seeing you like that..... The doctors have been rambling at me all day, saying stuff I didn't understand, but... you're 'malnourished' and 'dehydrated'...... and they said if we hadn't found you when we did you would have died....

"I'm sorry..... I didn't mean to worry you..... I shouldn't have.... kicked you out.... I didn't realise.... how much I needed you there."

Nicky blinked.

"Hey......... Nicky..?"

"Yeah buddy?"  
"I...... I need to tell you something.... but.... please don't hate me."  
"I won't hate you Rod."  
"I'm.... gay."  
Nicky chuckled. "Well I knew that!"

Blue eyes looked at him. "There's.... someone I like...."

"Oh?" Nicky asked, smiling.  
"Yeah."

"Who?"

"Promise you won't hate me?"  
"I already said, Rod, I couldn't hate you!"

".....I like you, Nicky."

* * *

A/N: Just incase people haven't noticed, the second chapter is longer than it was this morning. I wasn't happy with it. This chapter, also, wasn't happy. Not sure If I like this story at all, but, hey, it's a start.

~Whispy


	4. Reminiscing

Nicky blinked. ".....Me?"

"Yeah....." He looked away. "I..... always have..."

Nicky looked at his hands where he had folded them in his lap. He had known Rod was a homosexual, but, for him to have feelings for him...? That was.... unexpected... But then again, why was it? They had only lived together for the last how many years? Four years of college, then straight onto Avenue Q...

"I'm sorry, Nicky."

Nicky's eyes snapped to him at once. "What?"  
"I'm sorry.... I know it makes you uncomfortable.... but... I can't help it..."  
"Rod, don't apologise, okay?" Nicky told him, taking his friend's hand in his own. He looked over at the tired face and wasn't surprised to see the faint blush dusting his cheeks.  
"Nicky..."  
"Yeah...... I'm sorry man..." Nicky shook his head. "Jesus.... I feel like such a jerk now..."

"Nicky... I...."

"Rod.... I'm sorry.... for..... bringing girls into the apartment.... that must have really hurt.... and... Hell... I'm sorry for that big musical number of mine..."  
"Musical number?"  
"Maybe I was only singing it in my head.... y'know.... _If you were gay, it'd be okay, I mean 'cause hey, I'd like you anyway..._"  
"Oh, that."  
"I was only trying to get you out of the closet... Secrets always have made you act weird..."

Blue eyes blinked at him. "Weird?"

"Yeah!" Nicky smiled. "You know, like when we were in college, and you didn't want to tell me you'd sprained your ankle?"  
"Oh yeah...."  
"...And you spent the entire time ironing your socks?"  
"And pretending I had a cold, so you didn't ask why I wasn't leaving the room." He responded with a chuckle.  
"Yeah! Although, it was kind of hard to miss the limp."

Nicky watched as those blue eyes looked away from him, and the face that framed them blushed darkly.

"Hey, Rod...?"  
The eyes returned. "Yes?"  
"You're blushing."  
The blush deepened, and he swallowed. "I guess...."  
"So.... I guess.... all those times I've seen you blush before..... Haven't been because you were embarrassed or angry with me then?"  
"Some times.... sometimes they were..."  
"But, mostly not, huh?"  
"Yeah..."

"Rod.... I dunno if I can make this a happy ending for you...." He watched his friend's face fall. "I mean, I'm really not gay."  
"I know, Nicky, I know...."

"Excuse me sirs?"

The two of them looked up.

"Visiting hours are over, I'm sorry." Said a nurse, smiling at them politely.

Nicky stood and looked back at his friend. His poor friend who had to stay in this horrible place over night.... and who knows for how much longer than that. He reached down and took his hand.  
"Rod.... promise me you'll let them take care of you. All that other stuff aside... I don't want to lose you."  
"Nicky..."  
"Please? Please start eating again.... I can see your ribs though the hospital pyjamas..."

He winced slightly and looked down at his chest. Yup, you could count them. One... two... He shook his head and looked back up at Nicky. "Okay." He said, smiling a little.

Nicky smiled, that wonderful, beautiful smile that he loved so. "I'll come back tomorrow morning, okay?"  
"I'd like that."

"See ya, buddy. Goodnight."

".....Goodnight Nicky..."


	5. Making Sence of Things

He watched his friend walk out of the ward, and slumped into his cushions with a sigh. Stupid visiting hours.... he didn't want to spend the night without him there.... without listening to him breathe.... he had already spent the last three weeks without that sound....

"Sir?"

He looked up, seeing a nurse standing beside him. "Yes?"

"We're about to bring dinner in for the ward. Do you feel up to eating?"  
"I dunno."  
"We won't ask too much of you to start..." She explained. "You've gone without food for a while now, haven't you?"  
"About two weeks... I suppose..."

"We'll start with just a little at a time, to get your system working again, okay?"  
"Sure."

He decided that hospital food sucked.

Deciding that his stomach couldn't handle anything complex, or in any great amount after nearly two weeks of starvation, they were more or less only going to give him soup and baby food. A watery, chicken soup with corn in it. He supposed that they didn't have a five star chef at the hospital. Hell, he didn't think this slop was even one star quality. He'd eaten instant Ramen that was better than this.

He was propped up in bed so he was sitting, with a tray across his lap. The nurse had offered to feed him but he had flatly refused. Weak he may have been but he wasn't THAT weak. He idly stirred the bowl of soup with the spoon. He knew he had promised Nicky he would start eating again, but he really, honestly didn't feel like it. He sighed, and took the spoon out of the bowl, and licked it absently. Ugh. So artificiaaaaaaal.....

An hour later, and no more than a few mouthfuls of the awful stuff in his stomach, he settled down in the bed pillows and sighed. Well, Nicky knew now. No changing that. It had been a foolish thought to hope that Nicky would, upon hearing his admission, suddenly declare that he too was actually homosexual, just having been deeper into the closet than he, and then they would live happily ever after together. Hell, having him declare himself to be bisexual even was a little bit of a stretch.

But... at least....

At least he had finally told him.

And, even though his feelings hadn't been returned, they hadn't been rejected either. Nicky still.... still wanted to be his friend.....still wanted him close. He didn't hate him.

So, with that, sort of comforting thought, he settled down on the pillows and closed his eyes, drifting off easier than he ever had before, and dreamed of Nicky's hand on his own.

---

Nicky had suffered through his share of awkward moments before. Hell, he had invited more than one girl to the apartment at once before, and that was about as awkward as you can get!

But this....

"Hey, Nick, when am I gunna be able to meet this guy, huh?"

He looked up. "Oh, Ricky, sorry man, I.......oh Christ I am such an asshole..." Nicky flopped into a chair at the dining table and held his head in his hands. "I am such a God Damned asshole..."  
"What's the problem, bud?"

_You are the problem, actually._ Nicky thought bitterly.

And here he thought he was actually doing his friend a favour. It had seemed like a fucking great idea at the time, getting the former closet case a boyfriend. Ricky wasn't a bad guy, really. Sure, Nicky had only met the guy a few days ago after Princeton let him use his computer to post the ad, but so far he was alright. Granted, he was a bit of an impatient prick, but he had honestly been expecting to have met Rod by now.

"Where is this Rod friend of yours anyhow?"  
"I'm sorry, Rick, man, but... he was admitted to hospital this afternoon...." A pair of green eyes looked up and found the black pair that was watching him carefully.  
"Hospital?"  
"Yeah, I spent the whole afternoon there with him...  
"He gunna be okay?"

"Eventually, yeah. But it might be a while before he can get out. And, sorry man, I dunno if me takin' you to him in hospital would be a good idea."

Ricky folded his arms over his chest and looked displeased. "Oh."

"Look, I'm sorry, okay? This isn't exactly what I had planned when I posted his ad."

"Hmph." Ricky gave the orange clad 25 year old a look, before turning and heading for the door. "You have my number. Call me if you actually feel like admitting to me."

And the door closed.

Nicky stared at it confusedly. ...What? Admitting?? Admitting what?! About what? ....What, did the guy think that he made his best friend up? He hadn't exactly met him in person yet, and the photo wasn't the best quality one in the world, so, maybe Ricky thought Nicky was the gay one!? Maybe he thought he had made him up to get to know some other gay guys, because he was so deeply in the closet he didn't want a soul to know? What the fuck!? What kind of conclusion was that!? He hadn't lied once!

"This is fucking ridiculous." Nicky huffed, standing up and walking into the bedroom. "Stupid complicated gay shit..."

He paused in the doorway and looked into the bedroom. It was so weird, seeing his friend's bed pulled apart like it was. Nicky at least made sure that all the blankets were on the mattress, but his were crumpled on the floor. He blinked as light from the other room glinted off something on the side table.

He leant down, and picked them up.  
"Rod's glasses..." He turned them over, eyes widening at the crack in the right lens. "My God...."

He turned his green eyes away from the glasses in his hands, and looked over the room again. He spotted the dusty grey suit jacket on the floor, and picked it up, becoming even more worried as he saw the tear in the back. "Gee..... he really liked this suit..." Nicky said idly, straightening it out, and laying the pockets flat, like he knew his roommate liked it.

His hand passed over the left pocket, and he felt something inside. Blinking a little, his hand went into the pocket, and pulled out the subway ticket. It was from the night of the wedding.....when everything went south...

He looked at the location where he had bought the ticket, and his eyes widened. "How in hell....?"

He rubbed his eyes with the back of his hand and looked at the ticket again, but the place name remained the same. He clenched his fists angrily. He didn't know, nor did he care how his best friend had ended up in THAT district of all places, but, the fact that they had hurt him.... ripped his favourite jacket, broken his glasses, and done goodness knows what else.... made his blood boil.

He supposed he had put off going home for a visit long enough.

* * *

A/N: I fixed an error in the last chapter. :P Not being from the US, I forgot that calling a friend your 'mate' isn't common practice over there. :P Local lingo. My bad.

Also! I did arts! : http:// whispatchet dot deviantart dot com/art/Rod-heart-143339296


	6. The Darkness I Walked Away From

It would shock people to learn that, while one of the two friends knew just about everything there was to know about the other, starting with his parents' names and ending with the way he liked to hold his pencil, that the other, usually so thorough with things like this, knew nearly nothing.

Funny, how the lazy and good-for-nothing Nicholas Verte was better at keeping secrets than his best friend, the intelligent and talented Rodney Lunette.

Rod knew that he didn't know that much about Nicky, but, as part of some sort of weird, unspoken agreement, he had never pressed Nicky for the information.

Nicky tapped his foot impatiently as he stood on the subway train. He wasn't wasting any time..... he was going there tonight. He needed to get this sorted or he would never be able to sleep.... let alone face Rod in the morning.

When he stepped out into the platform, it immediately started to rain. Christ he hated this place.... it ALWAYS did that! It always rained when he came here. Heck, even the last time that he had gotten on the wrong train and it stopped at this station, it started to pour, only to stop when he got home.

Sighing, he pulled his hood up, and stuffed his hands in his pockets, heading out into the rain.

Perhaps he should have thought about this better. There were three major gangs in this district and a number of little ones. How was he supposed to figure out which bunch of punks had hurt Rod? He paused in his stalking and looked around. Maybe... he would help him?

It wasn't like he didn't have contacts in the area.... even though they hadn't spoken for a couple of years... Maybe he would?  
Well it couldn't hurt to try, hey?

So, with that decision made, he walked through the dark and unpleasant district, heading for a particular door. It was part of an apartment complex, not at all unlike Avenue Q, except each building had three or four apartments in it, rather than just the two. And, unlike Avenue Q, this place was a dump. And that was _saying_ something.

He headed up the tall flight of steps to the uppermost apartment, and knocked on the door. He would be very surprised if he didn't live here anymore, and if that was the case he was screwed as far as options went.

He waited. And he waited. Then, he heard movement from the other side of the door, seeing a shadow move across the other side of the peep hole. Then, there was a click as someone unlocked it, and slowly, it cracked open. "....Nick?"

Nicky turned and looked at the man standing in the doorway. "Hey bro', long time no see."

The man inside stood at about six foot four, with a squarish face and green eyes. His black hair was cropped close to his skin, and strong biceps showed through the light t-shirt he was wearing.

They were similar enough to be recognised as brothers, but different enough to not be mistaken as one and the same. Nicky's hair was longer and scruffy, with a rounder face, and his muscles were not as well defined. He also stood a little shorter, at six foot even.

The two looked at each other for a long moment, as if trying to wrap their head around the fact that the younger brother was there at all. It was certainly unusual enough. He had dropped all contact with his family once he got to college.

"So, are you going to make me stand on the doorstep all night, or what, Jace?" Nicky asked, impatient.  
"Oh, right, in shock I had forgotten our perfect manners."  
Nicky snorted, but his brother stepped to one side to let him in.

Jason Verte, age 30, lived in what was possible the best looked after apartment on the street. It was still a small apartment though; with two bedrooms, a kitchen and a bathroom, it was about the size of the apartment Nicky shared with Rod..... Except the rooms were a little smaller over all, thanks to that second bedroom.

Nicky strode past his brother and flopped down on the couch, much like he did at home.  
"Nice to see you too, hey?" Jason said, arching a brow at the shorter man.  
Nicky looked up at him with a half amused smile.  
"Oh come on, Nick." Jason said with a huff. "Don't think I don't know you well enough to know that for you to come all the way out here to see me, you need something. You haven't come to see me in four years... or dad either, for that matter."

"Dad's a jerk, and so are you bro'.... but you're right, I do need something. I need your help." Nicky said, setting his green eyes on those of his brother, pulling his hood down.  
"Oh really." Was the reply. "And why would this big old jerk help you?"

Nicky levelled his brother with a look. "Jace.... You know how things work in this stupid ass district. And wether I like it or not it's that sort of stuff that I was raised with. One of my friends wandered into this district a couple of weeks ago and some punks beat on him. You don't mess with what's ours, right? Our family IS still running this hole, aren't we?"

"Damn straight we are. But if your friend is stupid enough to walk in he-"  
"Damnit Jason he was here because of me!!" Nicky stood, hands balled into fists by his sides.  
Jason blinked. This was... so unlike his usually so cheerful little brother. This had irked him off something fierce...

Nicky took a deep breath to calm himself down. "Look, I know I didn't really take on much of Dad's ideas but it pisses me off to think that someone had hurt him. Someone _here_."

Jason's eyebrows rose slightly. "Which friend got his ass pounded on?" He asked. "From what I recall, you didn't have many."  
"Rod."  
"The Fag?"

"Oh for fuck's sake. YES. Funny how the only person to really give a shit is the guy I want to stick up for, huh? I bet you'll be giggling about that for weeks. I can just hear it now... 'My little brother is defending a gay!' Ha, ha, ha, ha, everybody laugh!"  
"Alright alright don't get your boxers in a bind, Christ." Jason shook his head. "I forgot how much being here brings the worst out of you, Nick."

Nicky placed an elbow on the arm of the couch, and rested his head in his hand. "Tell me about it. I get irritated when the train just passes this place. Never mind it always seems to fucking rain when I'm near...."

"So, you want to go and beat some young punks up for kicking your friend?"  
"He was here because I had made him upset, Jace. You remember what Rod's like when people poke fun at him being gay, right?" Nicky sighed. "I guess he trusted me to be the one to never say stuff like that... but then I went and told all our neighbours when they asked me about it; 'yes, I DO think Rod is gay', and I guess it hurt him more than anyone else's words could have."

"That's all it was?"  
"He's a sensitive guy, okay? Shut up."

"So, do you know who it was that beat on him?"

"That's why I'm here talking to you bro'. I've got no idea. I guess I didn't really think about it when I got on the train, but I was so freaking pissed off..."  
"Couldn't he tell you who it was?"

"..... He was admitted to hospital today."  
"From the injuries?"  
"No... but, he did have a fading bruise on his cheek, and I remember how easy it was to get concussed from shit like that...."  
"Speaking from experience?"  
"Oh come on, it's not like you haven't been concussed from being punched in the head too. And Rod's not exactly built as tough as we are."  
"Point."

"So how do you know that some kids from here were beating on him if he didn't tell you?" Jason asked, flopping down on the couch beside his brother and putting his arms behind his head.  
"Because..... I was.... cleaning the apartment..."  
"God Forbid!"  
"Hey shut up!"  
Jason chuckled.  
"I was cleaning the apartment, because.... he had trashed it in a fit of crazy... and I found the ticket he bought to get home after he had gotten lost. And he had bought it _here._ It's not that hard a conclusion to come to, especially seeing as I know what this hole is like."

Jason nodded his head.  
"Well, seeing as it is you, and, you're right, you don't just beat on the friend of a Verte-Mikehal and get away with it... I recon I could help you out bro'."

Nicky smiled at him. "Thanks Jace."

* * *

A/N: When I started writing this, it was gunna be a short story. :P lol. Sorry if Nicky seems a little OOC here, but, it's just on of those places that bring out the worst in a person. I know there are a few places that just irritate the hell out of me when I'm near them :P


	7. Mornings

He hated mornings.

It wasn't because he had to wake up early, because he didn't mind, and it wasn't because he was slow to wake, because he wasn't. He hated mornings, because Nicky always slept till later. Even if they both went to bed at the same time, he would wake up at about seven, and his roommate wouldn't wake up until nearly nine. And on a week day, that meant he had to leave for work before he was awake.

On a weekend, it meant that he had about an hour and a half to watch Nicky sleep before leaving the bedroom to make himself look busy.

He wasn't sure if he could bring himself to watch him anymore.... now that he knew how he felt.

But, at least it was a constant. Nicky was so erratic sometimes that at least his sleeping patterns were something that he could count on to be steady.

Which is why he was very surprised to see Nicky walk into the ward the moment visiting hours started, at eight. AM. In the morning.  
So surprised was he, that he actually stared at Nicky in disbelief as he crossed the room to his bed.

"Hi Rod." Nicky said with a smile.  
"Nicky.... you're up early."  
The green eyed man chuckled weakly and sat down on a chair, and pulled it in close to the bed. "Yeah... I didn't sleep much last night." He admitted.  
"Oh...." He blushed.

"Oh!" Nicky reached into his pocket, and pulled something out, placing it in his friend's hand. "I brought your glasses for you."  
He smiled. "Thanks, Nicky." He unfolded them and placed them on the bridge of his nose. "Ugh." He grumbled at the crack in the glass. "I hate getting my glasses fixed."  
"Yeah, I remember."

Blue eyes now supported by the lenses before them, turned towards the man sitting beside him. His mouth was open slightly to say something, but it died somewhere between brain and voice, as he was now able to see his friend with renewed clarity.

Nicky hadn't just had trouble sleeping, that past night, he realised. Nicky hadn't slept at all. The way he was holding himself practically screamed it into his ears. His shoulders were slack, and black shadows were beginning to appear beneath his usually vibrant green eyes.... which were now looking kind of dull. Rod hadn't seen Nicky look like that for years. And....holy Jesus... was that blood on his hoodie?!  
He was about to ask, but he stopped himself when Nicky swayed slightly, his eyelids drooping for a moment before he blinked and sat up straight.

".....Nicky?"  
"Hm..?" Nicky looked up at him, tired green eyes meeting worried blue. "What is it, buddy?"  
"Are you okay?"

"...Hm? Yeah, I'm okay, Rod."  
"Are you sure?"

"Y...yeah..." He tried to be reassuring, but his eyes drooped again, and before he knew it, he had flopped forward onto the edge of his friend's hospital bed, eyes closed.  
Rod gasped. "Nicky!!"  
"...Mmmsrry Rod..." Nicky muttered. "Is...my fault..."

There was a pause, and then, the silent ward was suddenly filled with the slow, deep breathing of a man deep in sleep. Rod looked down at him, blushing like mad. "Nicky...." He smiled to himself. He couldn't help it..... He was just.... too damned cute! He reached a thin hand across, and gently brushed some of Nicky's wild black hair out of his face. Ugh, it was filthy....

He looked down at his friend again. His knuckles were all grazed... "Nicholas.... what have you been doing?" He whispered.  
"Nffng..."

"Nothing my left foot." He huffed. But this time, he got no response. Nicky just slept on, strangely comfortable slumped over the edge of the bed. Rod smiled at him again. What an idiot. He took his glasses off his nose, and placed them on the table beside the bed, and snuggled back down into the blankets, comfortably close to the man he loved so much.


	8. Who You'd Rather Be

Nicky didn't wake up till late in the afternoon. When he finally raised his head off the side of his friend's bed, Rod was laying on his back, a book in one hand, reading, seeming.... so very content.

"Rod?"

Rod's blue eyes slid to him. "Nicky...." He smiled. "Sleep well?"  
Nicky grunted, and ran a hand through his hair. "Jeeze, I'm sorry Rod.... I didn't mean to fall asleep on you..."  
"It's okay. Not like I haven't seen you sleep before."  
"But I came out here to keep you company... and I go and..."  
"Nicky, really, it's okay."  
Nicky frowned and looked down at his lap. Rod just sighed, and returned to his book, smiling.

"How..... how long was I asleep for?"  
"Oh, it's been about ten hours now." Was the casual response.

"...Ten...!? Rod! Why didn't you wake me up?!"  
Those blue eyes moved back to him. "You needed it." He said. "I don't know what you were doing last night, but it certainly took a lot out of you." He cast a glance to his friend's knuckles before resuming reading. "I am certainly surprised they let you in, covered in blood splatters as you are."

Nicky let out a small yelp, and looked down at himself. He hadn't really noticed last night, but, as usual, Rod was right. His orange NY hoodie was flecked with small spots of now dried blood, and his knuckles were grazed pretty badly.

"Rod.... I.... I..... I'm sorry..."

"Forget it." Rod placed the book down on the side table, and slowly pulled his thin body up into a sitting position. "Nicky." He said firmly. "Take off your shirt."  
Nicky leant back a little, frowning confusedly. "Uh..."  
"Oh knock it off. Just because of.....those things.... I told you yesterday, doesn't mean I'm going to force it on you. Now come here." He jabbed the mattress with a pointed finger.

Still frowning slightly, Nicky leant back into a normal sitting position, and allowed Rod to unzip the dirty orange hoodie, and lift up his pale green t-shirt to look at his chest critically.

"Nicholas Verte." He said firmly. "What HAVE you been doing?" He slid his eyes up to look at Nicky's face. "You're covered in bruises."

Nicky brought a hand across and pulled his shirt back down over his bruised skin. "...Doesn't hurt." He lied.  
"Don't lie to me Nicky! Those are new! Hardly a day old! What WERE you doing?"

Nicky looked away. "I.... don't want to say."  
Rod blinked. "Why?"

"Nickyyy...."

"I don't want you to know."

"Nicky..." Rod let his hand drop back to his side. "I don't want you to keep it from me! You're hurt. You walked in here without a second of sleep.... What did you do last night? Tell me!"

"No, Rod."

Blue eyes blinked in surprise as their owner recoiled. Never before had he heard Nicky use such a voice! "Nicky..."

Nicky shook his head and stood up. "I'm sorry Rod.... I can't tell you..... not yet...."  
"Not yet? You mean you will?"  
"When you get out of here..... yeah......"  
"Nicky..."

"Good night Rod."  
"Nicky!"

But Nicky turned and walked briskly out of the ward, leaving Rod there confused... and alone again.

---

Nicky cursed to himself under his breath as he stormed out of the hospital. Well, looks like Rod the Observant didn't suffer any for the starvation and dehydration. He still noticed all those little things...

And Nicky just couldn't lie to him to save himself. Whenever he tried, Rod always seemed to see right through it. So he usually just refrained from saying. And usually, Rod wouldn't press him about it. But, seeing him hurt, he supposed, was important enough to want to wring the information out of him.

But Nicky just wasn't ready to let Rod know just what kind of person he was. The things he had done. The things he was responsible for...

He sighed. And the punks from last night hadn't even seen Rod before. Nicky would have preferred to have not beat them up, seeing as they hadn't wronged him any. But, surprise, surprise, their reaction to being questioned was to go at the two Verte-Mikehals. Nicky had taken a few hits across his chest thanks to being out of practice, but he had been on the straight and narrow for the last seven years, and not as fit as he used to be, but once he had gotten into the thick of it, he got the hang of it again pretty quickly.

"Yo, Nick."

Nicky looked up, spotting his older brother ahead of him in the street. "Jason?"

"What, you can drop in on me at all hours of the night but I can't come see you?" The taller man grinned. "How you feeling?"  
"I'll live." Nicky grumbled, walking past his brother.  
"Oh, come on." Jason turned to walk beside him. "You got hit pretty hard last night. You sure you're okay?"  
"I'm not a weakling, Jace."  
"I know, I'm just worrying."

"Why the sudden change in attitude?"

Jason smiled. "Well, when you're with Rod, I know you're safe. When you're with me, you're getting into some sort of trouble. But hey, that's just part of being a Verte-Mikehal, ain't it."

"I guess."

"...You haven't told him that you beat up a pack of young turks, have you."  
"He tried to get me to tell him, but I couldn't." Nicky zipped his hoodie back up and stuffed his hands into his pockets. "They were the wrong ones.... so.... I haven't done my duty yet."

"Duty.... a weird word for one of us."

"I think it suits." Nicky was quiet for a moment, before glancing back at the hospital. "I don't even remember any more..... who we really are."  
"What do you mean?"  
"To Rod.... to everyone I know, I'm Nicky Verte. To you, and dad, and all the gang members in the Back District, I'm Nick Verte-Mikehal." He sighed. "I don't remember which one is my real last name."

"Verte was Mom's name, and she wanted us legally to be named after her, so we're both just 'Verte'. But when dealing with the rabble, dad wanted us to have something to associate with him, so that we could carry on our reputation and shit. So, legally, you're Nicholas Verte." His brother stopped him. "But in the end, bro, it's up to you to decide who you want to be. If Nicholas Verte is the kind of guy you want to be, then be him. If Nick Verte-Mikehal is the guy you wanna be...."

He shook his head. "But, I think we both already know who it is you'd rather be."

Nicky looked over at the hospital in the distance. "Yeah..."

* * *

A/N: I forgot to mention before; the last names I chose for these two wonderful boys are both French words.

Nicky's name 'verte' is the French word for 'green', and Rod's name, 'lunette' is the French word for 'glasses', although I may have spelt it incorrectly. ....Stupid French language and their non phoenetic words, and their odd use of the letter x...

....Yeah. :P


	9. Masquerade's End

Rod was in hospital for a further two weeks. Nicky came to see him often; not quite every day, but close to it. Rod nagged him something fierce, trying to get him to tell him what had happened, but Nicky was unusually stubborn about it; shutting up and not saying a word every time he was asked. Eventually, Rod had to give up.

He was still very thin, but, not scarily so, and although he moved slowly, the banker had the strength to stand and walk around under his own power. Although Nicky hovered close to him the entire way between the hospital and the Avenue, just in case he needed to catch him.

Rod didn't mind.

Everyone was waiting for them when they finally returned to the Avenue, and there was not a single resident not thrilled to have Rod back. They had strung a large WELCOME HOME ROD banner across the centre building, and burst into applause as the two of them rounded the corner.

Rod blushed and smiled broadly as they neared their friends, not having expected such a reception.  
"Everyone.... thank you so much..." He said, voice still faint.

"You okay Rod?" Christmas Eve asked at once. "We all worry for you."  
"I'm sorry, Christmas Eve.... Everyone.... I'm alright."  
"Damn.... you're so skinny." Gary said critically.

"I know... It will be a while before I fill out properly again." Rod explained, not exactly pleased with himself. "But at least I'm out of the hospital."

There was an overall agreement of the notion.

"Well! In celebration of Rod coming back, we were all gunna go out for dinner." Brian said, grinning. "What do you think, Rod?"  
"Oh, well, I'm still slowly building up my appetite..."  
"That okay!" Christmas Eve declared. "It mean you cheap to feed!"  
"We're paying for you, Rod buddy." Nicky said, chuckling. "Our treat."

"Oh no I couldn't ask you to..."  
"Rod, don't argue!" Princeton told him. "Now come on, we're all heading there now."  
"Everyone..." Rod smiled. "Thank you."

"Oh, guys, you go ahead." Nicky said. "I gotta show him something first. We'll meet you there, okay?"

"Sure, Nicky!" And with a wave, the group moved off, leaving Rod and Nicky standing on their doorstep.  
Rod looked at him. "Nicky?"  
Nicky smiled. "I got a surprise for you, buddy."  
His head tilted to one side. "A surprise?"

"Uh huh. So, close your eyes."  
Rod gave him a look.  
"Oh come on Rod...."  
"Oh, alright..." Blue eyes slid closed, and he heard Nicky unlock the door to their apartment, then take his hands, and lead him in. Even though he knew his feelings would never be returned, he was thrilled at the touch.

"Okay Rod, you can open them now!"

He blinked his eyes opened, and he was looking at..... The apartment. But.... it was.... clean.

"What do you think, Rod?" Nicky asked, grinning, very proud of his efforts. "I did it all myself!"

It wasn't as clean as when Rod had done it, but it might have even passed a landlord's inspection this way. But the thought of Nicky cleaning the apartment as a welcome home present....

Rod bit his lower lip.

Nicky slumped his shoulders. "Aw, come on Rod, it's not that bad, is it?"

His shoulders started to tremble.  
Suddenly he was snickering.

"Rod?"

And before he knew it, Rod was laughing, loud and hard, grasping at his sides. Nicky just watched him laugh, and felt a light tint appear on his cheeks. He blinked at himself as he noticed, and shook his head. What the fuck? He wasn't... no, that was silly... that had poorly written fanfiction all over it! He was straight damnit!

Still....

He smiled. He decided that.... he rather liked that sound.

The throws of laughter slowly reined themselves in, and those blue eyes turned up at him. "Oh Nicky...." He chuckled. "You're an idiot."  
"What?"Nicky almost sounded offended. Almost. "Here I go and do somethin' nice for you, and..."

"Oh shut up. Let's go to the restaurant. The others are probably waiting for us." Rod's smile was vibrant.  
Nicky smiled. "Yeah, okay." And, locking the apartment behind them, they headed off.

They walked almost side by side, Nicky ahead of Rod by a step or two, as Rod didn't know where the restaurant was. They were content to walk in silence. After all, what was there to say?

"Hey, isn't that the Fancy Suit guy?"

Rod froze.

"Oh yeah, you're right! Oh look, his glasses are still broken!"

Nicky stiffened.

A group of about eight punks suddenly surrounded them, stalking in close.

"Christ, look how skinny he is!" One of them remarked. "You could break him like a popsicle stick!"  
"Shall we try?"  
"Yeeeaaahhh We _owe_ you for gettin' away from us before....."

The apparent leader of the gang advanced on Rod, and reached out to grab him, when an orange covered shape planted himself between them.

"You stay the fuck away from him." Nicky growled.  
"Nicky..." Rod whispered.

"Oi, who's this idiot?"  
The leader reached out and grabbed the front of Nicky's hoodie, making Rod squeal worriedly.  
"You got a lot of guts, huh. Who the hell do you think you are?"  
"Who, me?"

Nicky's right hand suddenly snapped out, punching the punk in the face with surprising force. He stumbled back, grasping at a broken nose, falling back onto his ass on the pavement. Everyone, including Rod, stared at him in surprise as he slid into a ready fighting stance... one that the gang found to be.... unsettlingly familiar.

"I am Nick Verte-Mikehal, and my friends are not to be fucked with!"

"V-Verte-Mikehal!"  
"Bullshit!"  
"But.... didn't you hear?! The youngest of the Verte-Mikehals came back to the district, looking for someone! It.... couldn'ta been..."

"You?"

Nicky advanced on them, and they recoiled.  
"You do not. Mess. With what's MINE!!" Nicky's foot snapped out and he kicked the leader of the group hard in the ribs. "And you do NOT come out of your filthy little hole!" He kicked him again.  
"Stop!! Stop!!" The other members were shouting, perfectly terrified.

"Get the FUCK out of here!!" Nicky roared, seething. "Before I rip your FUCKING THROATS OUT!!"

They wasted no time in following that order, picking up their leader and running away with shouts of terror. Nicky glared at them until they were firmly out of sight.

Slowly, the tension fell from his body. Then he grabbed at his right hand, bouncing on the balls of his feet. "Ow ow ow ow... that really hurt...." He whimpered, rubbing at the scabs he had torn open across his knuckles. "Ow..." He paused a moment, and turned to his friend behind him, a smile on his face, ready to make sure he was alright.

But it dropped from his face at once.

"....Rod?"

He was shaking.


	10. Strangely Complete

He was shaking.

Nicky turned, and took a step towards him, reaching a hand out. "Rod, are you okay?"  
But Rod jerked back from him. Rod was....... afraid of him.

"Rod.... that...... that's..... That's not who I am...." Nicky tried to explain. "Rod..... I'm not that person! Not really!"  
He whimpered. "You..... you were going to... you were ready to...."

"They deserved it!" Nicky exclaimed. "No one is allowed to hurt you Rod! No one! Ever!"  
"Nicky..."

Nicky grimaced and looked away. "Rod..... I'm sorry... I......" He sighed. "I know how your glasses got broken.... I found your subway ticket....... so..... I know what happened...."  
Rod frowned.  
"Rod..... that place.... the 'Back District'..... its..... where I grew up..."

Rod gasped. "You.... in that awful place...?"  
"Yeah...."  
"So.... you're.... you're like..... like them......"

"No!" Nicky turned back to his friend, pleading with his green eyes. "No! I'm not like them!! I'm not like that, Rod! I'm not!!" He looked at him for a few moments before looking away, hurt. "Rod...... my dad.... he runs that neighbourhood. Him and my brother...."  
"You have..... a brother?"  
"Yeah..." Nicky sighed. "They're that kind of person..... and.... they tried to raise me that way too, but.... I guess I took after mom more than Jason did..."  
"But..... you..... you seemed so..... so different...."

"Only because they tried to hurt you!!" Nicky's voice was starting to get desperate. "Rod, please, believe me..... that's.... not who I want to be! That's not the kind of man I want to be!! I don't want to have people afraid of me ...I don't WANT to be Nick Verte-Mikehal!! I just..... I just want to be... Nicky."

He brought his green eyes up, and locked them with Rod's blue. Slowly, he crept towards him. "Rod.... I can't lie to you.... I never have been able to.... that's.... that's why I never told you.... anything about me.... because I.... I didn't....." He drew in a deep breath, but when he spoke, it was a quiet whisper. "...I didn't want you to be afraid of me... I didn't.... didn't want..... you to hate me..."

Before Nicky knew what was happening, Rod suddenly had his thin arms wrapped around him, holding him close.

"I don't hate you....." He whispered. "I could never."  
"Rod.... I..." He was shaking.

"It's okay, Nicky....." Rod pulled back, smiling. "It's okay..."  
Nicky smiled a little. "I'm.... just glad.... they ran away...." He admitted. "Without.... without my brother here..... they could have beaten the crap out of us..."  
Rod chuckled. "Well, you _have_ spent the last few years as a couch potato."  
"Hey, life on the straight and narrow, you know?"

Rod smiled at him. "Let's go. The others are waiting."  
Nicky smiled back. "Yeah."

Nicky reached out and took Rod's hand, leading him towards the restaurant. He wanted.....needed..... to make sure he was still there. He couldn't..... couldn't lose Rod again... he just couldn't.

Rod blushed darkly, and smiled at Nicky's back. Even if..... it wasn't exactly what he had been longing for, all these years.... he felt.... strangely.... complete. He wouldn't press Nicky, even though he knew how he felt now... now that he knew, he felt a great weight come off his shoulders. He was.... happy.

Rod didn't let go of Nicky's hand until they reached the restaurant... when his grazed hand finally stopped shaking.

**End.**


End file.
